September 2007

Letters to Friedrich de la Motte Fouqué 9-12-07

Letter 1

Dear Fred,

I've just gotten done reading the first chapter (is it still called that when it is so short?) of your story Undine. That's a pretty good beginning, but I think you will get more mileage (and money) out of this story with a little bit of editing. First of all, if you are considering the television and motion picture market, you will need to do more than introduce a flirty 18 year-old girl in the very beginning, although I don't fault you that at all. The American audience pretty much demands either a criminal act, an explosion, or some hint of nudity within the first five to ten minutes of airtime and you are missing that.

I've recently been reading this guy, Hank Kleist, and, man, does he get it. Have you read his earthquake story? In the first page this guy has an earthquake, a potential execution, a potential hanging/suicide and an illicit sex scene in a convent. Talk about things to catch your attention. If you haven't been reading this guy, I recommend you do it.

Maybe once I've read through a little more of your story, I'll be able to give you some more ideas to include. I know how touchy writers can be about their "art" and all, but good advice is good advice no matter where it comes from and we're looking at me right now. I'm about busting at the seams with ideas already for the beginning, so I don't want to wait until I finish reading in case I forget some of them.

First off, you have this Ritter character who comes through the woods, which are described as dangerous. You neglect to expand on how dangerous. It is good to show these things. For example, we can expand the story of his arrival at the hut to include either some very creepy, moody scenes where there are crazy things in the trees and bushes: you know, shaking leaves, maybe some growling, maybe a half-eaten deer in the path or something. You're the artist, you'll know how to do this. Alternatively, we can also show him fighting some guys off as he enters the forest (which looks dark and forbidding): maybe he shoots an arrow or something into someone's eye and he can make the witty remark, "Guess he didn't see that coming." Stuff like that really sells to the demographic we try to pull in.

If expanding the Ritter story isn't to your liking, then how about we do something with the fisherman who is just kind of sitting there when we first see him. Number one, do people even know what fisherman do these days? I don't think so; so we can have him thinking and flashback to some dramatic thing he survived at sea; for example, he can throw some kind of spear or harpoon or whatever fishermen use into a shark's eye and then he can comment, "Guess he didn't see that coming." Honestly, I can't believe I am just giving this stuff away to you. This is a guaranteed hit with that alone.

The next character we can work on is the fisherman's wife. I am thinking we need a fairly grizzled old guy to play the fisherman and then have his wife be a knock-out. This will definitely up the "wow-factor" for when the Ritter enters the house. It's that kind of unexpected thing that brings people into a story. If they both look humble and old, then where is the interest? Who buys ad time for humble people?

The exchange about the chairs is really nice. I like this detail a lot, but can we pull more out of it? Yes. Once the wife warns the Ritter about the bum leg, why not have the chair give out and he falls to the floor? Other options on this include him hitting his head when he falls, knocking him unconscious. Once he's unconscious, there are so many directions the story can take. Alternately, he can fall on the wife in some inappropriate way, causing the Ritter and the fisherman to duke it out. Great drama there.

Lastly, we have Undine. Great character. Great character. She will definitely test well with the target audience I am thinking of. Maybe instead of her splashing water on the window to gain everyone's attention, she can moon them through the window. Just a thought.

Anyway, I know we haven't worked together or even met before. I also realize that I haven't even read the majority of the story and that I am shooting from the hip. I'm just a go-getter with a lot of ambition. I've been contacting a lot of authors lately, trying to help them out. All I ask is that I get a cut of the movie deal once it comes in. Something modest; we can discuss the details later. You know, I'm an idea man and that is a rare and wonderful thing to be. I just feel like I shouldn't be hoarding all these great ideas for myself, when they could be making the world a better place. I hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,
an editor concerned with television and movie rights

Letter 2

Dear Mr. Fouqué,

I finally finished your story. Sorry about that previous letter. You seem to have everything covered. I also heard there might be an opera in the works. Well, I wouldn't recommend that over film, but you sure seem to know what you are doing with that story stuff, so I guess you know what you are doing with that opera idea.

Sincerely,
an editor now thinking about the future of opera